It’s the end of the academic year, and as of writing,
hand-in is in less than a week. Somewhat worried, knowing my track record when
it comes to completing things on time. I think my work ethic has slipped a
little this term too. It’s probably because of how much work I have left over
from the first term that I need to go back and finish, I’m honestly kind of
overwhelmed. I know that back then I was working very hard and definitely
putting the hours in but I was also working very slowly. My perfectionism has…
not really gotten much better, more that it has been somewhat overtaken by the
urge to get things finished. I wish I could just do the work and not care about
the outcome. For example for the Space Centre project last week I did my final
piece in the labs so that I wouldn’t get distracted, and I did work pretty solidly,
but I was worried that I’d do a bad job from the start and it really does show
in the outcome. Not pleased with that final at all.
Term 2 I had things all worked out, sure I lost a lot of
sleep but I had very little work to finish off during the Easter holidays. Next
year I want to work to the same standard of… somewhere between term 1 and 2.
See, I was generally much more responsible with things like getting up on time
and staying focused and motivated back then, but I was so stuck to that routine
that it became more important than the work. Term 2 on the other hand was
basically a whole lot of sleep deprivation but then oversleeping and… the
balance still wasn’t right. So now I’m just freaking out a little as for the
last couple of weeks I’ve been failing to grasp the scope of the task I must
complete, and I’m suddenly remembering with one week to go that I just cannot
fail.
It’s so much easier working with others around you, pretty
much why I’m looking forward to living in the same house as some of my peers
next year. It’s a double-edged sword though; I often observe my friends doing
their work much faster than me and then going off and having fun. I’m aware
that often the fact that I’ve worked on things for longer pays off in the
result, but I still can’t help feeling a little deflated when that happens.
Any gripes about the course itself? Not really, it would be
nice to have somewhere to go and work with people even while other year groups
are using the labs, but that’s not really an issue with the course itself. As
someone who takes a long time with final pieces I can’t say I’m 100% sure about
not being taught digital art and speed painting until next year, but if it
helps in the long giving us more experience with traditional art then I can’t
complain.
Next year’s goals- Become better at keeping a half-decent
sleeping pattern, do work away from the computer so as to minimise
distractions, juggle having multiple assignments at once more effectively and
just… try to have actual fun when not getting things done rather than turning
all potential free time into dull procrastination.